I’m so tired of so many people recently. I cannot tolerate anyone– nor can I actually say I’m very happy at all recently. It’s.. gotten kind of ridiculous, actually.

I’ve no problem holding a knife out to myself. It’s gotten to that point again and I’m sick and tired of it. I cannot stand people anymore. I hate the majority of the people that’s come into my life. I seriously sit here and think to myself, “I probably only have a handful of people I actually care about.”

I’m sick and tired of it. Playing the “nice guy.” I’m tired. I really want to tell everyone at the moment they’re pissing the fuck out of me and I don’t want to talk to them. But you know what? I care about my image more than my fucking mental stability apparently.

I don’t know anymore. I’m just done.

I want to sleep and never wake up. I just want to lie down and never have to see another person again. I get lonely, but it’s tolerable compared to the bullshit I put up with every day. Every day it’s this or that. I can’t even have one decent conversation with some of my closer friends because I get rudely interrupted by an asshat I call a friend.

And I am completely aware I’m talking behind their backs too, but they’re only pissing me off when they cut me off every fucking time I try to talk or talk to someone. It’s getting on my nerves.

Not to mention being ridiculed once more. Treated like nothing but someone who is always the “friend.” I’m just there when you need me. Otherwise, I’m nothing. It’s not like you’d miss me. I’m a piece of shit compared to everyone. “I missed you!” Bullshit.

When was the last time you talked to me when it wasn’t about an event that you were excited about, or because you were lonely, or maybe even because your friends were ignoring you so, ha, you came to me unexpectedly.

I’m tired of the bullcrap I get treated like recently. I want a little respect. At least respond to my fucking day or something and just go, “Oh,” and that’s all you can say. And putting words into my fucking mouth? I don’t fucking think so.

I just can’t stand it anymore. Do you know how annoying it is to have to put up with this with the people I want to call my friends? In reality, I’ve only maybe 5 people I can actually trust. Otherwise, the rest of the world just became complete strangers. I’ve lost all trust in everyone. I’m paranoid around everyone. I don’t like it.